Somebody please help the girl

It is a well known idea that most of us are a little wacky (I hesitate to use the word dysfunctional) in some way or another. Maybe we don't process numbers well, or maybe we lack the skills to get along with people, but it is usually something we're a little short on. For me, it's total and almost complete lack of direction. I sometimes say about myself that I could get lost in the bathroom, and it's pretty much true. If I didn't have a compass on the rearview mirror in the car I would probably never figure out which way to go. Don't take me out in the woods like Hansel and Gretel or I probably would be out there wandering about forever.

In the past couple months or so, Tim and I were scheduled to be at a home group, sort of out in the country by Brownsburg. I had been there several times. I thought I knew which way I was going. I was following Tim, but we got separated at the stoplight. I was fairly confident I could get there on my own, and if not "thank heaven" for cell phones. 

The thing was I had driven to this particular house once before by myself and gotten lost. One good thing about my sense of direction, I'm fairly certain when I'm lost. I drove, I drove past the house or something like that, I'm not really sure where I go wrong at this point, and ended up at the same railroad crossing I had been to before when I was lost. I called Tim and he arranged to tromp through several inches of snow and stand at the end of the driveway of our friend's house and wave me in. This is the second time he's done the exact same thing. I thinking our friends need to move to a more user-friendly location.

Then in the past month or so I had several doctor's appointments at a clinic about 20 minutes away in Indianapolis. This time I knew the way there. I have been to this building at least four different times now and have only successfully negotiated the right turns only one time, the last time I was there. I always get mixed up at the stoplight on whatever that street name is, and turn the wrong way. I have ended up in the Wal-mart parking lot every time turning around to go back. I have even ended up at Wal-mart going home from the clinic. I don't know what's with me, but I guess I drive mostly by landmarks, and they never look the same going as coming. I think this girl needs help. 

My only saving grace is that I can turn around and go back. I have been in more driveways in unknown neighborhoods than I care to count. I should have a sign on my car that says, "Sorry, just passing through. Pay no attention to this car in your drive." 

So what I'm proposing is that someone in my family buy me a GPS if they ever intend to see this girl again. I would be so thankful. 

Bump Outs make exciting driving

I laughed out loud at the sign as we passed. We were traveling in Illinois in such torrential rains that Interstate 80/94 in the Chicago area was shut down. Tim and I were on our way to a Sunday wedding and taking the slow scenic route due to the rain. We were not having a happy time.

Somewhere in the Chicago suburbs there was a sign posted that read, "No driving on the shoulder of the road." The sign itself wasn't funny, but I got tickled anyway. I said to Tim, "I guess they have some Indiana people driving over here and had to put up a sign."

Indiana drivers and roads are unique. Having moved here from a lifetime in Illinois, I noticed this phenomenon right away. It took a while to get used to it, but I have adapted. At least in our area, a suburb of Indy, no one seems to think that widening the road to at least four lanes seems to be necessary. It doesn't seem to matter that the roads are congested with traffic. No extra lanes are built. The transportation department merely creates bump outs.

I had never experienced a bump out before in Illinois. A bump out is a curved piece of road that looks like an elongated backward "c" on the right side of the road. The bump out occurs when there is a possibility of a left turn off the main road. Passing on the right in Indiana is the norm, at least where we live. The theory is that if you are making a left hand turn off a major road, the bump out will allow cars behind you to zoom past you on the right. It works fairly well, but honestly, we could use a few wider roads with more lanes.

I really don't mind the bump outs, I use them frequently. The only thing that really bugs me is that people will pass you on the right even if there isn't a bump out. They just zoom around on the shoulder of the road. Those drivers are scary, because sometimes the shoulder isn't all that wide and is right next to a deep ditch. YIKES! In fact, every time I drive to church there is a possibility that this little excitement will occur. There is no bump out for our left turn into the church parking lot.

I could see that at the location of the sign in Illinois there were nice wide blacktopped shoulders to the road. People from Indiana must surely drive in Illinois frequently and need a little reminder that not everyone drives like they're passing at the Indianapolis 500. Ya gotta love it!